my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dicks are not precious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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