I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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