White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
