glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
