You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
