just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
