Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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