So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
