gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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