it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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