everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
