I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
