ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
