Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
