I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
