First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
