i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
