can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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