I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
