she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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