If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
