bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
