i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
