So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
