OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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