she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
