I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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