no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
