I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
