you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
