I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Randomize
