I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
