just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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