the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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