If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
