I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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