I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
