We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
