can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
