ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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