I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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