dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
