White coat. Heels.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
