dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it because I queefed?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
