dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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