U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
