i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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