I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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