Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
