It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
