I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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