did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So squirting runs in the family.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
